The Tale of the Slaying of the Blonde Douchebag

SO it was a quiet night at the house on a late Thursday eve. There were only about 150 people or so... Another frat had stolen one of the Pi Kapp parties from last year and had decided to throw a glow party (black lights and etc.) so we just went right on ahead and threw one too, and even without advertisement (the other frat's was like, an actual sponsored social event or whatever approved by the school), we had a bigger, better crowd and a lot more awesome time. I'd not been drinking all that much that night as the beer was not up to par for my taste and the punch left a little to be wanted. THe night was waning on and we pass midnight. Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I did the 3 jello shots offered to me and then also joined in on a nice game of Flipcup as they were short players.

I'm not sure if you know what Flip Cup is, as most people just settle for Beer Pong to satisfy their wanting to mix beer with solo cups and fun and games... Flip cup is a relay race of sorts that Im not entirely sure of the point as everyone ends up drinking the same amount and there is no loss to the loser. *Mind I've never understood how losing at beer pong was really losing. You got more beer that way... Guess it's just a matter of is free beer worth losing pride and bragging rights for... Matter of opion I suppose. Anyway, flip cup you drink the beer, sit the cup on the edge of whatever surface you are playing on and then use your finger to attempt to flip the cup over and make it land standing. I'm actually quite good at flip cup, usually only taking one to two tries for my cup to be flipped and the turn to move on down the line.

Flip cup players were few and far between that night and in the three rounds that were played I'd already seen my team change at least 2 players each game. Only three of us were left of the starting players. A friend of mine was starting to my left. I was second. A girl friend of mine was to my right and some tall obese blonde kid with curls and doucherimmed glasses was to her right. Dillon toasted, drank, and flipped on the first try. I drank, flipped, SHIT It didn't stand. Again. DAMNIT! Again. FUCK!! AGAIN. Never in my LIFE! UGH. The other team had all finished before they told me to stop and we'd just refill the cups. Then I hear it. Funny enough, a comment that no one knew would actually be the gavel falling.

"Do you need me to teach you how to flip your cup over?"

The story is about to get a little hazy, as obviously this was not the correct thing to say. This was REALLY not the right thing to say to someone who lives in the house, who sleeps
beside an active, prominent member of the Fraternity whose house in which you are an uninvited guest. DEFINITLEY not something to say to ME.
But me being a mature and responsible adult I calmly and politely explained to him the situation

"NO I do NOT need YOU to teach me how to Flip my Fucking Cup over"

I'm not entirely sure of the series of events that followed as whatever his response was sent me into an absolute blackening out rage. I recall mentioning something about respect and I remember someone holding me back from tearing him limb from limb. And then the fog was lifted. I managed to get out of the hold someone had on my arms and I told my team mates "Sorry, But I'm not playing anymore."

I went to find Alex and told him what happened. His fairly obvious response was "Well he needs to leave. Just show me who he is." We go back to being social and didn't see him again. I figure maybe he got scared and correctly decided it would be in his best interest if he went ahead and vacated the premises. A little while later a little group was hanging out by the limo and suddenly someone makes a totally inappropriate comment AGAIN. I don't remember what it was, but I do remember a girlfriend of mine, Kaylan and myself telling a guy he needed to get the fuck out of here.

Another friend and Brother, Gurley, actually tactfully explains the situation to the guy

"You need to leave the property now. "

As this polite exchange was occuring I realised who the guy was and leaned into Alex

"That's the guy from earlier. That's that blonde guy"

So Alex bids Blonde kid farewell the moment Gurley finished his statement

"Have a good Fucking Night."

The thought process of this young man has to be a little slower than that of the average armadillo. He turns around and has the audacity to tell Alex how inappropriate his comment was as

"I was already leaving man, there's no reason to be an asshole"

I mean, really. Did someone just let him out of his helmet and padded room TODAY? I'm sure one can imagine just how well being a complete and total jackfuck went down. Everyone was in such a bout of rage at this point I do not believe anyone remembers the exact conversation that led to the fall of the giant, but everyone know it wasn't by a slingshot and a rock this go round.

Blonde douchebag makes an advance and Alex moves forward. Kaylan, just trying to save a man's life (she's a nursing major), gets between Blonde douchebag and Alex and tries to stop the ensuing fight. She puts her hands up to hold off Blonde douchebag and he makes a very wise decision and slaps her hands away.

The next second his face was hitting pavement. A head shorter, 70 lb lighter Alex had him pinned and wasn't letting go till the giant was subdued (and unconsious). Alex choked him completely out. Alex would have walked away without a mark on him, save his brothers hadn't pulled him across the asfault when they were forcing him off the guy. But the bit of road rash just made him look even more like a bad ass (not that he needed any help in that category after the last 30 seconds). They finally get Alex off him and Kaylan and I both are trying our best to save a life now

"Let me go. Just let me go back" Alex says as I'm struggling to hold him.
"Just let me back over there!"

"Alex, He's done. He's unconscious."

Whenever the guy's escorts were able to get him up and off the property he had to walk right by Campus Safety to go back to the car. Gurley and another brother were there talking to Sarge. Sarge sees Blonde Douchebag

"Geeze, what happened to him?"
"It looks like he got his ass kicked."
"I think he tripped."
Sarge: "I'm going to pretend I never heard any of that."

Such is the story of the night Alex slayed the Blonde Douchbag.